No matter what is said or done, however, it seems like the target is never right, and a small incident can create a difficult situation in seconds. Targets are likely already familiar with the cycle and believe making a small mistake will make the partner angry, so instead they opt to stay quiet or not do something. They may accuse, yell, demand and/or have unrealistic expectations, while the target feels they have to walk on eggshells, are afraid, and become anxious. In it, stress builds, and abusers may begin to feel wronged, ignored, or neglected.

This phase can last anywhere from minutes to weeks. There is a simple tool that describes what occurs in an abusive relationship - it is known as the Power and Control Wheel, and breaks down this abusive pattern into four phases:Īccording to Cynthia Catchings, LCSW-S, the four phases entail: The cycle of abuse is defined by the ways in which an abusive partner keeps a target in a relationship, spanning subtle behaviors as well as physical, visible violence.

You make me angry phil